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Champion Of The Thames

Champion Of The ThamesChampion Of The ThamesChampion Of The Thames

Champion Of The Thames

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    • Home
    • Contact us
    • Beers
    • Fun Stuff
      • Explore the Champ
      • Download pub quizzes
      • Gallery
      • Crumble Off
      • Back of the Blackboard
      • Pub Banter
    • Jobs
    • COVID-19 Safety
    • Awards
    • Food
  • Home
  • Contact us
  • Beers
  • Fun Stuff
    • Explore the Champ
    • Download pub quizzes
    • Gallery
    • Crumble Off
    • Back of the Blackboard
    • Pub Banter
  • Jobs
  • COVID-19 Safety
  • Awards
  • Food

Pub Banter

You hear some interesting stuff here in the Champ...

Six Nations customer, re the Champ: "This is like going to church, only good!"



Sam: "I have successfully defeated the hard Sudoku"

Al: "Smug bastard"



Lawrence: "I'm really behind; It's just taken me two hours to sign a document"

Sam: "Maybe you need a shorter signature"

Lawrence threatens to run Sam over with his car.


Nat (to Sam, who's coughing): "Just shut up or die"


Paul-1 re Paul-2's elbow surgery: "The good news is they stuck a funny bone in while they were there"
Paul-2: "That's not very humerus"


Dave chases Jim into the pub after Jim stepped in front of Dave's moving car without looking, then proceeded to call Dave a 'twat' for honking his horn.
Dave: "Don't call me a twat - I'm not your mate"


Bee: "My face has always been a magnet for balls"


Man walks into the bar: "Did you know your outside lights are on?"
Sam: "...yes"
Man: "Oh, good"
Man walks out of bar


Tony: "I'm going to go and play the organ"
Tom: "Brilliant! I'm going to go home and have a power-wank"


Customer (points at flats opposite pub): "What's that building over there?"
Sam: "Flats"
Customer: "What for?"
Sam: "...people"


Ceecee: "Where do you think is the best place to go for a first date?"
Sam: "..."
Sam: "Seal clubbing"


Bee: "Adrian, you can't go anywhere near my mouth!"


Nat: "Sam, there's violence in the pub, Adrian's being mean"
Sam: "Adrian, apologise to Nat"
Adrian: "No"
Sam: "Nat, accept his apology"
Nat: "No!"
Sam: "Problem solved"


Emma (re her dog): you have to learn not to listen to her face


Pete (re jeans): "I love button-ups"
Bee: "You like buttered nobs??"

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  • Home
  • Contact us
  • Beers
  • Explore the Champ
  • Download pub quizzes
  • Gallery
  • Crumble Off
  • Back of the Blackboard
  • Pub Banter
  • Jobs
  • COVID-19 Safety
  • Awards
  • Food

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